Need Chocolate NOW!

I have had a crazy week. Just weird. First, I bought some lovely new earrings on Ebay. They were so pretty. I wore them for about 3 days and all of sudden noticed my ears being on fire and itching. Well I would scratch. Now I have these little red scabs from scratching my ears that I assume now were allergic to the new earrings. Ok, so I have been dousing my ears with peroxide this week and they still itch and burn. Ahhhhhhhhh!

What's next??? OH yea...this week I had to work 7am-4pm. Well leaving my house at 6:30am in the dark can be kind of scary. Tuesday I decided to pull out of the garage and run back to the garage fridge and grab a Diet Green Tea. I got my car door open again and see something moving out of the corner of my eye. I let the door go and it smashed my thumb! In my mind I was screaming the F bomb like you have never heard it. I look over and it is some dumb woman up walking. DUMB ASS! Your exercising almost broke my thumb! It is nice looking, all bruised up and very painful. Thanks pink hoodie lady. FIND ANOTHER NEIGHBORHOOD!

Last but not least...one of my co-workers is off work tomorrow. So I have my work and his work to do. To make matters worse, his backup person that would normally help has gone off to West Virginia to one of our truck terminals to work for the week. I have such anxiety about tomorrow that I guess I have caused a rash all over my body. Well most of it. It itches and burns just like my ears. I actually took one of the nerve pills a clinic Dr. gave me a few months ago after I had found out my girlfriend's 17 year old nephew had ordered $150 of porn while we were out working. He only visited for 4 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Needless to say, by the time I hit the clinic door, I thought I was having a damn heart attack but no, just high blood pressure. These pills are the best! Takes the edge off everything. I wish she had given me more than 10, that stingy bitch!

Well wish me luck tomorrow! I will need it and a few more magic pills just to make it through the day.

P.S. I voted today, I wrote in my vote for Hillary Clinton. Sorry! I don't like my other options.

My Life As A Young Lesbian

I have known I was a lesbian since I was a child. Maybe not so much the word but I knew there was something very different about me...I was not like the other little girls. For one, all I wanted to do was play sports with boys. I had no interest in Barbie dolls other than taking their clothes off and then removing their arms.

My earliest memory of my peculiar behavior was when I was in kindergarten. I had a teacher, Mrs. Brown, and she was beautiful. She was trying to teach us something and asked did anyone have any questions. I quickly raised my hand and she came over to my desk. I asked her to bend down and planted a kiss right on her lips! Seriously. I did. She looked like I had punched her. She quickly walked away and ignored me for the rest of the year.

My next experience came in 4th grade. I had two girlfriends and their mothers would come over and visit with my mom and leave us to play outside. One day it was just two of us, Dawn and I playing. Since Dawn was two years older than me, our mom's decided to go run an errand and leave her to watch me. They walk out the door and next thing I know she asks me did I want to go take a nap in her parent's bed. I said ok. After only moments in the bed, she is touching my mosquito bite sized boobies and I was touching hers and we were rubbing against each other. We played for several years after that and the only thing that happened after that was she did pull me aside one day and give me what I would call my first kiss. It was lip locked and for a significant amount of time. My parents divorced the next summer and we moved away. I recently saw our other friend and asked about Dawn. Her reply was, "Oh she is married and has 3 kids." Doesn't that just figure.

At age 12, Noreen came along. Ok, now this one is a little weird. Noreen was a 21 year old college student. Although we never had sex, we were very intimate. My family owned a restaurant and she was a waitress there. Folks she was beautiful. She moved here with her boyfriend and was attending college at our local university, she wanted to become a lawyer. We quickly developed a friendship and my friendship turned into a massive crush. I would wait at the back door of the restaurant for her to come in to work. I would follow her around like a little puppy dog. We became very close. I would call her at home all the time. She would take me places on her days off. I always wanted to touch her so my method of achieving that would be to shake her hand all the time. She soon figured it out and instead of shaking my hand she would touch my face or kiss me on the cheek.

People started to notice our relationship. I went to visit my father one summer and Noreen would call me once a week. I could not wait to get home. But my mom at the last minute decided to come pick us up instead of us flying home as usual. On the drive home my mom told me that people were starting to talk about my relationship with Noreen and it wasn't normal. She told me when I got back I had better leave her alone or they would fire her. I was so sad! I did try to leave her alone a little more and she figured it out and questioned me about it. So I told her. She went into my mom's office and my heart was about to explode. I could only imagine what was going on in there. Noreen came out crying which made me cry. Noreen wound up giving my mom 2 weeks notice.

I had not heard from her or seen her in months when someone told me she was working as a waitress at another restaurant. So I would get some of the other waitresses to take me there to eat so I could see her. She had moved and gave me her new phone number. I called once and got her boyfriend so I hung up. A few weeks later I tried again and the number was disconnected. That would be the last time I ever had contact with her. I wonder what she is doing today all the time. I wonder is she knew at the time I was a little lesbian and why she seemed to encourage my crush.

My last significant relationship before I really found out I was a lesbian was with a high school friend. She was so beautiful, her skin was the color of coffee with cream and I could not get enough of her. Our friendship continued until our freshman year of college. During the summer, she had told me when she would go out to clubs (under 18 clubs), that boys would "bother" her and she didn't like it. She thought if she had a wedding ring they would leave her alone. Well guess who bought her a damn wedding band? That's right, me. She wore it all the time. A few months after that she got in a fight with her mom and moved out. She rented a studio apartment and we would go shopping all the time for things she would need. Guess who bought the majority of it??? That's right, me. She knew how to play me and push my buttons for sure.

After I started my freshman year of college I met this woman in my Theatre Appreciation class. She was very cute, always wore her hair in a pigtail. We began talking and spending time together and one night she kissed me. It was then, that I finally knew. I was elated. I called my high school friend and told her I needed to talk to her. I went over to her house and told her everything that had happened between me and the college girl. She informs me she always knew I was a lesbian and that she and her family had actually discussed it at their dinner table the night before. She said she was happy I found someone because she was not gay and could not go there with me. I left pretty upset. Not that I wanted her to "go there with me" anymore but that I really needed a friend, someone to talk to about everything going on.

A few hours later she called my house and asked to speak to my little sister. I asked her why. She said that she needed to tell her all about me, to warn her about me. I told her to go to hell and hung up on her. To this day we have not spoken to each other. She lives in the same town. I have seen her a few times since then. She is married with 3 children and turns her head as she walks past me. Why all of sudden did she think so differently of me?? I was the same person that bought all the nice things for her apartment.

I moved on to my first real lesbian relationship and it was so nice to have finally figured out why I was so different and explore this new world. It was a whole new world. I learned so much from my first lover. I was her 2nd girlfriend so she was the experienced one. We broke up because I cheated on her and felt I should tell her about it. She immediately kicked me out of the house and went and married the first guy that would pay attention to her. She is now a shrink here in the town I live in. Nice huh???

That is the basic route that got me from young child to where I am today. A few relationship between then and now and I am much wiser. As they say," What doesn't kill us, makes us grow stronger."

Weekend Ahead

Two of my guy buddies are coming over on Sunday to watch football with me. I have a 65 inch tv and I buy NFL Sunday Ticket every year. I am popular with guys because of these two items that I have. Nothing like watching football on a 65 inch HD TV.



I don't mind the company so much right now since my girlfriend is in another state. It doesn't look like I will get to go visit her for a few more weeks because of her schedule. My girlfriend is a program director and DJ for a radio station. It seems like almost every weekend she has a remote or something but hopefully we will be able to hook up soon. She is only a 3.5 hour drive from here but when you drive up on Saturday and have to turn around and come back on Sunday it makes for a really short weekend.



Because of her job I get to meets lots of famous people. It certainly makes life interesting. We always joke about saving all the autographs we have obtained and selling them on Ebay when we get old for our retirement. I miss her. I may just have to bite the bullet and go up next weekend. Ok, enough of that! haha!



Here is a pic of me with LeAnn Rimes. Super nice lady. This picture really bothered me because my teeth look damn yellow compared to LeAnn's. Damn her and her blinding white beautiful teeth!

Working With a Goat

They have brought in this old goat to run our company. He is from Scotland or something. I cannot stand him. He dresses like he has not bought new clothes since the 70's and he has a terrible management style. He spies on us. He loves to sneak up behind us and see if we are playing on the internet (I have already been caught 78 times). He also likes to force us to do things. The latest venture of meaness is to make us cross train with everyone in the building. So next week I have to go learn how to recruit our retarded truck drivers. I am very mad about this. No one is going to do my work while I am away so I will be a day behind on work when I come back. So I announced to the 4 people in my area that the way to fix his wagon is to call in sick on the day you are scheduled to go over there. That will fix the man with such wonderful e-mail quotes as "The tail doesn't wag the dog, the dog wags the tail" and my new favorite, "As the Nike man said, Just do it." What Nike man????????? God he is so dumb. I cringe when he walks by me because he usually stops and asks me a dumb question.

We did a mini-Office Voyeurs yesterday. Not much was happening though. The funniest one was taping this 60 year old woman that works upstairs. When we heard this woman was 60 years old, we were in shock. She has an awesome body and her face looks about 42 to me. So we were calling her a hottie on the tape. Then another woman came running by us (it was raining) and her boobs were bouncing everywhere and we both screamed at the same time, "BOOBIES!" I can only imagine what people walking down the hall might be wondering what is going on in that breakroom with the door shut and a male and female person shouting, "BOOBIES!"

The Office Voyeurs Postponed

Our work computers crashed at 11:33am on Monday. We sat all day with nothing to do but answer the phones. Could the old goat in charge let us go home???? Of course not. We come in yesterday morning and they still do not work. Finally at 10:30am he decides to send 5 of us to our downtown branch to work until the computers are back up and running. Of course I was one of the 5 picked to go. We got over there and had to work in a large room with a bunch of strange old women. I was scared to get on the internet so I actually worked yesterday afternoon! Amazing!

Me and co-worker Randy decide to sneak off at 4pm. Just as we get our computers un-plugged and are getting ready to make a run for it our tattle-tale co-worker sneaks up behind us. "What are you guys doing?????" So we lied and said we were going back to the other building so we would not have to set up our computers in the morning. She disappears. We are heading out the building to the parking lot and she walks around the corner. Looked like she had gone out to see if we had already left. Weirdo. We drive the speed limit all the way back to our building and I swear to God, she walked in 2 minutes after we did! When we left she had not disconnected her computer and still had 7 flights to go up on an old slow elevator. She must have raced across town to make sure we weren't goofing off so she could go tell on us. What a nut!

So needless to say our Office Voyeur has been postponed. Hopefully we will get in a little time today.

The Office Voyeurs

Me and one of my buddies at work (we shall call him Randy) run and grab lunch, to then come back to our break room to eat and do something fun. Sometimes we play catch on the parking lot or play poker or just hang out. Lately we have found it very entertaining to watch people on our parking lot as they are coming back from lunch. We see couples kissing, people primping and certain folks doing things they would not want others to see. After witnessing a couple of interesting things today we have decided to bring in my camcorder and start posting our humorous findings on You Tube. Maybe our findings are not nearly as funny as our commentary but we shall see. The break room at work has these windows that you cannot see in from outside but we certainly can see out. Lock the door and we can have an entire hour of being office voyeurs. I can hardly wait until tomorrow.

Feeling Much Better Today

Girlfriend started new job today and called me many times saying how she thinks she will like it there which is good news because that means I can move there sooner.

Work was a disaster again today, our computers died at 11:30am so I had absolutely nothing to do. I could not check my blog, could not check my Yahoo account...I just sat and stared at the walls and counted the minutes to 5pm. Occasionally we would get a phone call. It is total torture being at work for half a day with nothing to do. I hope they get the problem fixed tonight so we can work/play on the internet tomorrow.

I had a dream last night about one of my co-workers and it was a sexual type dream. I could hardly look at him all day today. It made me feel very weird. I thought I was gay????????

Missing Girlfriend Already

I just got back from helping my girl move out of state. It was very sad. I hated leaving her there. I am already worried about her. We both cried and cried and cried. Hopefully pretty soon I will be able to move up there with her.

It is a strange situation, just last week I was feeling a big smothered with her around all the time and now I can hardly stand being without her. Isn't that funny? I guess it is true that we always want what we cannot have.

I Hate My Job

I work for a trucking company and I have to talk to truck drivers all day long. I hate it more than words can express. I used to like my job here when I did customer service but I did this to get more money and all I got was more headaches.

We have this driver that I dispatch that has done nothing but damage trucks. He cannot drive a truck to save his life. Now we find out he has been forging receipts so he gets reimbursed more money. I just knew FINALLY I would be rid of him forever. Oh no, they had a meeting this morning and said we are so desperate for drivers right now we have to keep him working. I seriously wanted to walk out of here and never look back. They said if we don't start keeping drivers we might as well all go get in the unemployment line. Well sign me the hell up because it has to be better than being here in this nut house! I get up every morning and try to think of great excuses to call in sick but I just can't do it. I don't know what is wrong with me. My damn parents raised me with this killer work ethic or something. If I called in sick and wasn't really sick I would sit around all day feeling so guilty that I would probably call and say I am feeling better can I please come back in???? One time I had a pain in my side, went to a clinic and somehow they deducted I had the flu, gave me the up the nose test and all and sure as crap I had the flu. I went right back to work! I even had a Dr's excuse to miss 2 days! I am so lame.

Soon to Be Out of My Mind

Yesterday was my 7 year anniversary with my girlfriend. We will call her Chelsea because I have a terrible crush on Chelsea Handler. Oh and Laurel is not my real name...my mother once told me she almost named me Laurel so that will be my name. I actually like it better than my real name.

My girlfriend of 7 years is moving to take another job out of state. She likes to move quite a bit so I am staying here where my job is stable until I can make sure she actually wants to stay for awhile. I hate moving. I am sick of it. I move all the time with her. I would just like to buy a house and stay in one place for at least 5 years but I guess that will not happen anytime soon.So I am starting this blog as therapy mainly. She will be gone. I will be lonely and bored. So get ready for some whining people! Here comes Laurel!